


Your arms make a better pillow than the table

by ImagineYourself



Series: 80's rock ballads mean so much to me (and Dean) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 80's Rock Ballads, Bunker Fic, Bunker Fluff, Excessive Coffee, Excessive eye-rolling, Fluff, Getting Together, I'm impressed that that's a tag, Kevin has a plan, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Season/Series 08 AU, Schmoop, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2781890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: An expedition in sleeping arrangements.</p><p>“I had a thought.”<br/>“Wow, I'm impressed, Cas. Go on.”<br/>Castiel gives Dean an unamused look. “I've found these past few weeks that I often sleep better in your company, even when at this uncomfortable table.”<br/>“Uh-huh,” Dean replies absently, looking back down at the book before him, tapping the end of his pen on the table.<br/>“I was just thinking... Would it be okay to sleep in your company in a bed?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your arms make a better pillow than the table

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this months ago because of the idea that Dean and Cas both have nightmares after everything and then it just became this fluffy mass of Sam and Kev intent on getting them together.

Dean turns onto his side, sheets catching around his ankles. He sighs heavily into the dark of his room, the silence of the bunker weighing down on him. Tonight is by no means the first night he's tossed and turned for hours because he just can't fall asleep. It's getting old. Really old. And each day he wakes more tired than the day before, dark circles growing underneath his eyes.

Sitting up, he sighs, realizing he's probably not going to sleep and might as well do something productive for a couple of hours before he crashes. Sam's door is closed and no sound comes from inside when Dean passes by. Kevin's door is shut, too, and Dean feels a moment of gratefulness to know the prophet actually went to bed for once. Cas' door is open to a crack and Dean stops, silently pushing the door in. A little bit of light filters in from the hall, but reveals no sleeping man to Dean's eyes. Pulling the door closed behind him, he keeps walking, making his way into the main room and then the library.

Castiel is slumped over the table, his head pillowed on one arm, face turned away from Dean. Even so, the hunter knows the former angel is asleep. It's become a regular routine for them really. Neither of them sleep very well, so they end up convening in the library until one or both pass out. Dean rounds the other man and sees that his mouth is open and a little bit of drool is pooling on the table. It should be gross, but it's not. It's just cute.

Tiptoeing back towards Cas' room, Dean retrieves a pillow and then gently lifts the sleeping man's head up to shove it beneath so that when he wakes he won't have the table imprinted on his cheek. Then Dean takes his customary seat across the table, slides over the stuff Cas must have been looking at, and gets to work.

.

Sam has been counting.

Seventeen mornings out of about a month at least he's left his room to go to the kitchen for some much needed coffee and sees his brother and Cas sleeping in the library. The first time he'd seen them, it was a little bit of a shock before coffee, but after that it was just sweet. He knew his brother didn't sleep well and it made sense that Castiel would be plagued with nightmares after all the shit he'd been through. Still, seventeen sounds a bit excessive, and that's only the times he's actually seen them. There were probably times when they both managed to fall into bed before crashing, at least Sam hopes that.

He hasn't said anything to either of them. He thinks they probably know he's seen them, considering he has to pass them by to start the coffee that they both predictably rush to when they finally wake. Neither of them talk about it either. It's just another one of those things, Sam supposes. And yet it continues.

.

“Hey Dean?” Cas asks around a yawn.

“Yeah?” The yawn is contagious and suddenly Dean feels his mouth open wide and his chest ache as it hits him. He glances quickly at his watch, unsurprised to see it's past midnight.

The former angel shuffles his papers around a little. He leans forward across the table, glancing at Kevin, who sits further down the table, pouring over three books at once. “I had a thought.”

“Wow, I'm impressed, Cas. Go on.”

Castiel gives Dean an unamused look. “I've found these past few weeks that I often sleep better in your company, even when at this uncomfortable table.”

“Uh-huh,” Dean replies absently, looking back down at the book before him, tapping the end of his pen on the table.

“I was just thinking... Would it be okay to sleep in your company in a bed?”

The hunter freezes. After a moment, he looks up to meet Cas' hopeful blue eyes. “You mean like sleep together? In the same bed?”

“Well, yes. I think that would be easiest. Unless you are opposed to the idea...” Cas drops his eyes to the table.

“Uh, I guess not? If you think it'll help you sleep better,” Dean tells him.

Cas visibly brightens and he smiles across the table. “Thank you, Dean.”

.

It's about two hours later, after Kevin leaves the library for his own bed, that Dean rouses Castiel from his half-asleep stupor. “Come on, you said you wanted to sleep in a bed. Well now's the time,” he says softly, helping Cas to his feet. He trails behind Dean as the hunter leads the way to his room. Cas stands in the doorway even as Dean turns the lamp off and climbs into his side of the bed, punching his pillow a few times before settling onto it.

“You gonna be there all night?” Dean eventually asks, voice low.

Cas finally moves, closing the door and plunging the room into darkness. He slides under the blankets on the other side of Dean, resting his head gingerly on the pillow. Lying with his hands on his stomach, he tries not to move, not to disturb Dean who seems to already be asleep. The room is silent but for the gentle sounds of their breaths, slowly matching until they become one. Still, Cas doesn't move.

After what feels like a long time, Dean rolls over so that he's facing Cas, and his hand lands on the former angel's arm. “Relax,” he whispers, voice deep and sleepy. “This was your idea. If you don't wanna...”

“No, I do,” Cas interrupts in a voice just as soft. Slowly, he turns to his side, looking at the outline of Dean's body in the dimness. He settles in and waits for Dean's breathing to slow again before he reaches over and rests his hand on top of where Dean's is now laying between them. Sleep quickly takes him after that.

.

Kevin can't say much about love, he's never really known it as well he likes to think. But if he can say just one thing about it, it would be that Dean Winchester knows even less. Seriously, if Kevin has to look at him one more time, pining across the table at the former angel that lives with them now... well, he doesn't know what he'll do, but he'll do something.

“What's on your mind?” Sam asks him, looking up from his coffee and the newspaper that's spread on the kitchen table before him.

Kevin sighs. “You see it too, right? I'm not crazy?”

“What are you talking about, Kev?”

“Dean and Cas! They're completely in love and yet neither one will do a thing about it.” Kevin angrily takes a bite of his cereal.

Sam just laughs. “Yeah, I know, I see it too. They're both pretty dumb, if you haven't noticed.”

“That they are.” Chewing on his breakfast, Kevin thinks for a moment. “You know, I didn't see either of them at the table this morning.”

“Yeah?” Sam raises his brows. “You don't think...”

“No way.” The prophet shakes his head. “Maybe...”

They both look up as Dean wanders into the kitchen, lips wide in a yawn. He pours a cup of coffee and sits beside his brother. “What are you two nerds talking about so early?”

“Early? Dean it's nearly noon,” Sam tells him.

The elder Winchester grabs Sam's wrist to look at his watch. “Well, shit.”

“Were you up late again? And by late I mean early?”

Dean shakes his head. “Nah, me and Cas went to bed around two or three I think.”

“You and Cas?” Kevin asks, not subtly at all.

With a tired look, Dean replies, “Yeah, I sent him to bed when I went.”

“Oh.” The kid sounds disappointed and Sam kicks his foot under the table. He glares at the larger man.

Picking up his coffee, Dean gives them both an eye-roll and leaves. “I'm gonna go wake him up.”

.

Cas and Dean sleep together—in the same bed, Dean reminds himself—the next three nights, and it's not just the two of them that notice a difference.

“You don't seem as tired,” Sam mutters, leaning against the kitchen counter as Dean eats his breakfast. “Been sleeping better?”

Dean glances at him, then looks away. “Yeah,” he says with a shrug.

“Any particular reason?”

He makes a face. “Nah, not that I can think of.”

Sam's mouth twitches in a smirk for a moment before his trained stoicism takes over again. “So, nothing to do with the fact you and Cas have started sleeping in the same room?”

His brother looks at him sharply. “How'd you know that?”

“I was gonna wake you up yesterday, but when I went into your room you were fast asleep. With Cas. Holding hands.” Dean groans. “It was pretty sweet actually.” Sam's wearing a shit-eating grin that Dean has to roll his eyes at.

“What's it to you?”

“Nothing much. Just wondering if the two of you finally manned up and admitted how utterly in love you are.”

Dean's lips drawn into a frown. “Uh, we're not in love.”

Sam snorts. “You're kidding me, right?” The look on his brother's face has him moving forward to sit at the table. “Oh my god, you're not. Dean, I knew you were pigheaded before, but if you are seriously telling me right now that you don't know Cas is head over heels for you...”

“What are you talking about? The guy is a freaking angel, of course he's not in love with me.”

Sighing exasperatedly, Sam leans his elbows on the table. “If all the shit he's gone through for you—rebelling against Heaven, coming every time you call—and practically everyone we've met mentioning something about the 'profound bond' you two have isn't love, then I don't know what the hell is.”

Dean just stares at him for a long moment. “You really think...?”

“Yeah, Dean. I do.” Sam smiles at his brother but shakes his head. He stands and reaches over to clasp Dean's shoulder before leaving the kitchen and the contemplating look on Dean's face.

.

It's about one in the morning when Dean looks up from the mythology text he's currently absorbed in to see Cas with his forehead on the table, one arm above his head, the other resting on the open book next to his face. Slowly, the hunter lowers his book to the table, glancing over to make sure that Kevin is still in the map room, pouring over the tablet and deaf to the world around him. He contemplates waking Cas up to drag him into one of their rooms so they both can sleep comfortably.

Instead, he feels a little like a creeper but just watches his best friend sleeping. The former angel looks so peaceful that Dean can't even bring himself to move for a good five minutes, content to simply lean forward a little and stare. Really, though, he feels like he deserves some time to just take in the gentle rise and fall of Castiel's shoulders when he breathes. After all the times he's woken to see Cas watching him from across the room or next to his bed, all he wants is to take a few moments to do the same. Anyway, it's not like anyone is stopping him.

After another minute or three, Dean finally leans back, stretching his arms high above his head. He stands to walk around the table, wrapping his hand around Cas' shoulder and shaking him slightly. “Hey, Cas. Wake up man. We gotta get you into a bed so you can sleep real good.” Cas makes a soft sound of protest and Dean smiles. “I'm not gonna carry you. Come on.”

Cas' eyes slowly open and he blinks a few times. “Dean?”

“Hey, buddy. Come on, it's time for bed.” The hunter grips the former angel's arm and helps him to stand. Despite his words, Dean carries at least part of Cas' weight as he walks them down the hall and towards his room, getting Cas to the bed before going back to close the door and pull off his jeans. When he falls into bed, Cas is already there on the other side, breathing slow and heavy. Dean tugs the blanket from underneath him only to pull it over them both, settling in and happily finding Cas' hand waiting between them in the perfect place for Dean to fit their fingers together loosely.

He looks at the dim outline of Cas that is more of a darker black on a black background than anything. He waits for a moment, listening to the steady breath of his companion and silently praying. “I love you,” he breathes. When there is no answer, he closes his eyes and tilts his head ever closer to Castiel's.

.

Cas has never been a man of many words. He usually says what he needs to, even though he sometimes elaborates too much and Dean has to tell him to shut up. But Castiel has never been afraid of words. Never been shy about phrasing, never been ashamed of the strings of language that he speaks.

But he _has_ been afraid of things others have said, and said to him.

Currently, he is terrified of what he is almost a hundred percent certain sure he heard whispered to him the night before after Dean tucked him into bed. He had been drifting close to sleep, still aware of the body breathing across the bed and the hand warm on top of his. But he heard, clear as anything, the three words that Dean whispered into the darkness. There was no mistaking it. Cas was too scared to leave, and too comfortable, and had fallen asleep with his mind stuck in a loop of Dean's voice.

Now, the former angel sits in the kitchen, cup of coffee getting cold in his hands, and Dean is still sleeping in his room. As soon as Cas had woken up he fled the room though it was still quite early in the morning. He knows Sam will be up soon, and he's planning what he'll say to the younger brother of the most confusing and infuriatingly wonderful creature he's ever beheld.

It doesn't take long, Sam is up and walking into the kitchen with a yawn filling his chest just minutes later. “Morning Cas,” he says, pouring himself coffee and taking a sip as he leans against the counter. “You're not usually up this early.”

“Good morning, Sam. And no. I had an... interesting night and did not sleep well.”

Sam raises a brow. “Yeah? Interesting how?”

Cas frowns and takes a breath. “Sam, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you think your brother loves me?” Cas looks at the table as he speaks, but glances back up at Sam's face when the other man huffs a laugh.

Sam is smiling indulgently. “Yeah, he does. Why do you ask?”

“He said it to me last night, but I think he thought I was asleep.”

“So you're worried he didn't mean it because you were sleeping?”

Cas shakes his head. “No, just... I wonder if he would ever say it if he knew I wasn't.” He takes a sip of his lukewarm drink and sighs lowly.

“Cas, you and I both know that Dean isn't the best with feelings, or communicating, or much of anything related to those,” Sam says gently.

“I know.”

“So if you want to hear him say it, you'll have to ask him to.”

Cas opens his mouth to say something more, but Kevin enters the room at that moment, shuffling towards Sam and the coffee pot. Instead of letting the words out that he wants to ask, he purses his lips and stares pointedly at his mug of coffee.

.

Dean feels lighter than he has in years. Finally having said the words he's wanted to say for so long, even though he knows Cas couldn't hear. It's still a huge weight off his chest. He walks through the bunker with unusually light steps, a half smile on his lips that drops as soon as he enters the kitchen and sees Cas sitting at the table. The former angel looks almost forlorn as he frowns at the table.

“Cas, you okay man?” Dean asks slowly.

Cas jolts upright, nearly spilling his drink all over his hands. “Oh, Dean. Yes, I'm alright. You startled me.”

“Sorry,” Dean laughs, sitting across from him. “What's on your mind?”

Shaking his head slightly, Cas looks over to him. “It's nothing, I'm just tired. I woke early this morning.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I'm usually up before you.” Dean leans his elbows on the table.

Cas smile sheepishly. “Yes. I do enjoy sleep when I can get it without the nightmares.”

.

Sam glances towards where Kevin is fiddling with the record player, trying to listen in order to get the needle to the right place to start the right song. “Are you sure this is a good idea? I know my brother, he might get pissed.”

“Or he might take it as the hint it is and kiss his boyfriend already,” Kevin says, exasperated. “There!” He turns his face with a grin to Sam who gives the thumbs up after poking his head around the corner just enough to see that the couple in question still were sitting at the kitchen table. Kevin sets the needle down as he spins the volume knob and suddenly they are surrounded by a loud melody.

_Take me as I am_

_Put your hand in mine_

_Now and forever_

With one last look at each other, the two scamper off in opposite directions to hide, waiting for the inevitable backlash of their meddling.

.

Dean looks around as music stars playing loudly. It takes him only a few seconds to place the tune and when he does he groans and rolls his eyes but meets Cas' confused eyes across the table. “Chicago,” he says mildly.

Cas cocks his head. “The city?”

“No, the band. This is a Chicago song, 'Will You Still Love Me?'” Dean twists in his seat and leans to look out the doorway, intent on seeing who is out there.

“Who is playing it?” Cas asks behind him.

“Probably Sam. What a girl.” Dean snorts and turns back to see Cas listening intently to the words floating into the room.

_Just say you love me for the rest of your life_

_I got a lot of love and I don't wanna let go_

“You ever heard this song before?” Dean asks him. He smiles when Cas shakes his head.

_Will you still love me for the rest of your life?_

_Cause I can't go on, no I can't go on_

_I can't go on if I'm on my own_

As the words are sung, Castiel meets Dean's gaze, his lips parting and head tilted. He looks so much like a confused kitten that Dean just wants to reach out and touch his cheek and explain to him the entirety of 80's rock ballads. He's about to say something when Cas beats him to it and makes him freeze solid.

“I heard you last night.” Cas speaks plainly, though he doesn't seem angry. Maybe confused and a little sad?

“Yeah?” Dean squeaks.

Cas suddenly ducks his head. “Yes. And I wondered...” he pauses, breathing slow. “I wondered if you would say it again?”

Dean is quiet, his eyes wide. “Uh,” he whispers ineloquently.

He can see Cas backtrack immediately. “Not that you have to, or not now at least. I mean, I would like it, but if you don't...” he trails off.

_I was the lonely one, you see_

_But then my heart lost all control_

_Now you're all that I know_

“No, no, I—” Dean chews his lip for a moment, the song entering the last chorus around them. “I love you,” he murmurs. Cas looks up at him, the hope on his face making the corner of Dean's mouth twitch into the beginnings of a smile. “I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, but I love you, Cas.”

Castiel suddenly smiles, bright and happy. “I love you, too, Dean.” With matching grins, they watch each other for a long moment, music fading out, until a whisper draws their attention to the doorway.

“Now kiss him!” Kevin sees them looking and darts out of view.

“Goddammit,” Dean swears, but he's laughing. “I'm gonna get you for that, Kev!”

“He does have a point, though,” Cas says playfully. He laughs when Dean shoots him an imitation bitchface.

Dean stands and scoots around the table to sit next to the former angel. With sudden trepidation, he leans a little closer, trying to remember how to breathe. He's one second from making the first move when Cas pushes their lips together and his eyes slip shut.

.

Kevin runs down the hall and finds Sam playing solitaire on his phone around the corner. “Sam, come on, I think they're about to do it!”

“What? Already? In the kitchen?”

Kevin hits the older man on his arm before taking hold and dragging him along. “Not that. They're gonna kiss.”

Sam smiles and allows himself be pulled down the hall back towards the kitchen. “So your plan worked?”

“Yep! I told you so!” The kid seems way too excited for something so small, but Sam lets the feeling take hold of him as well, excitement making him laugh.

They slow down as they reach the door and both peek around the corner to see what's happening. Kevin pulls Sam's phone from where it's still clutched in his hand and takes a quick picture of the two at the table, swapping spit with Cas nearly on Dean's lap. Sam backs away out of sight and chuckles, simultaneously happy and kind of grossed out. Kevin joins him a moment later, the look on his face much the same.

“I'm sending this to Charlie. She's gonna piss herself,” Kevin mumbles, tapping away at the phone's screen.

Sam rolls his eyes and glances back around the doorway to see the two men staring into each other's eyes, smiling broadly. He pushes Kevin gently down the hall. “Let's leave them to themselves for a little while,” he says, intent on letting his brother be happy for as long as possible.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Also I was listening to my favorite 80's rock ballads while writing the end and Chicago was just perfect.
> 
> Also also, I'm so proud of myself, I keep finishing things and now I can finally post stuff!


End file.
